


(Hidden) Imperfections

by milkbreadcat



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Partners to Lovers, Sakusa's Father Sucks, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:22:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24563794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkbreadcat/pseuds/milkbreadcat
Summary: Sakusa has skeleton's in his closet and feelings for a certain setter he has yet to face.If he let Atsumu get close, to see under the protective gear outside of the court, and into his closet, would he judge him?
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 126





	(Hidden) Imperfections

Sakusa had always been known as that guy who barely spoke and wore a mask, who refused to let others touch him and who stood in a corner. No one tried to really talk to him, he grew used to it quickly. He stuck with his cousin, who had grown up with his habits and loved him regardless. It was easier that way, it was that easiness that he occasionally missed now. Days where he was fine with a volleyball and Kimori. But he just had to let it get complicated.

Atsumu came in to the team’s first meeting like a mess, so why did he find himself paying attention to him all the time? He saw how the setter acted with everyone, from day one it was as if he was friends with everyone. Eventually, unsurprisingly, the two started to click as well. And while he knew he wasn’t the setter’s number one friend, clearly that role was reserved for the more social members of their team, Atsumu was clearly trying. But then why did Sakusa find it so hard to let him in?

His feelings were growing everyday, and he wouldn’t lie, he was thankful for the mask covering his blush whenever they weren’t out of practicing or playing a match, explaining why his cheeks matched the red stripe on the volleyballs they used would be hard. Only Kimori knew about this, he was the only one he could trust, not that he actually told his cousin, no, Kimori guessed right away what was going on and was right. He wished it was as easy as simply confessing to Atsumu and never having to deal with any of this ever again, but confessing meant opening up, and if he didn’t like what he saw when dealing with himself, no one would.

For someone who didn’t talk a lot, he had a lot of skeletons in his closet. Habits, from those skeletons, that everyone just assumed he developed randomly. His mom, who’s immune system started failing from the minute he was born. A lovely woman who he rarely got to see through his childhood, having to make sure he was aseptic at the drop of a hat in case he was lucky enough to get see her that day. A mother he didn’t get to fully cherish, her dying on his first day of elementary school. His father, who left him with Kimori’s parents after his wife’s death. A man who blamed only his child for the death of his wife, who died from exposure to the flu from an undetermined source. Someone who he never saw or heard from again after his 6th birthday. A family no one knew about besides Kimori.

No one wanted to be friends with that kid who always needed to be clean, something that he carried with him from his want to see his mom. Why ask the weirdo why they were the way were, when you didn’t want to be near them in the first place. He couldn’t even blame them; he didn’t know if he would want to be near himself either.

After all of that, if he let Atsumu get close, to see under the protective gear outside of the court, and into his closet, would he judge him? It’d be easier to lie, but lying to him felt wrong, and so did keeping secrets if they got closer. There was a clear line, close enough to go without opening the door, and too close to keep it closed.

The longer this went, more fans of the team started pointing things out. How he looked at Atsumu, how he seemed to only smile when he was receiving a set from him or scoring a point, and that when the setter wasn’t looking, he stared at him with what the fans called “heart eyes,” which he would argue was just him looking to making sure Atsumu wasn’t doing something gross and deal with Kimori proving him wrong over text later. He was getting in too deep.

But the fear still stood. He knew what Atsumu was like, a notorious flirt, with both men and women. And he had seen all those people, picture perfect, not a single flaw. He could name Atsumu’s flaws though, probably in a list, just like he knew Akaashi did with Bokuto’s weaknesses. The setter didn’t clean up after himself (considering last weekend, when the team went over to Atsumu’s apartment to go over game plans, and there was a stray sock in his sink, this fact stood even three years after their first meeting,) was unhygienic, selfish, seemingly carefree, provocative, and condescending. The setter lies all the time, doesn’t listen to others when what they say doesn’t connect to what he wants, and when he borrows things, he doesn’t return them. Yet, he still loved him despite, or maybe because of that.

Even with those flaws, Sakusa could still name his every strength, and though sometimes, they didn’t shine through as much as his imperfections, they were just as important, if not more so. Atsumu was a perfectionist, holding high standards for both himself and others, he wasn’t afraid to speak his mind or confront others directly, he was sensitive (however much he tried to hide this, Sakusa would always remember seeing him tear up, and try to hide said tearing up, while watching Disney movies with the team,) and competitive. The setter clearly cared for his friends, going to extremes just to make them happy and comfortable with him. And while Sakusa was the first to admit that some of these strengths could be flaws at times, they were still a part of Atsumu.

Just because someone has flaws, doesn’t mean their going to accept someone else’s. Sakusa didn’t even know if Atsumu returned his feelings (because sure, it felt like the setter was flirting, but he was naturally flirty,) let alone if he’d love him less once Sakusa introduced him to his demons. Atsumu hadn’t seen him as a child, he hadn’t seen the blood on Sakusa’s hands from his mother, how every day it felt like he was treading on thin ice, seeing everyone around him not stay as sanitary as possible and feeling as if he was one touch away from getting sick, just like his mother had.

But slowly, his boundaries fell more and more. Things he wouldn’t let others do were acceptable in the back of his head for only Atsumu to do. It wasn’t just him changing, he saw the adjustments the setter quietly made. From his apartment getting a little cleaner every time they were there, far enough from being perfect but better than before, and carrying around hand sanitizer, using it quietly when he came near Sakusa.

It was as if he knew Sakusa was stuck, and decided he would make the move first. From offering his spare room, which he swore he would clean and then help Sakusa clean just to be sure it was up to his standards, when he heard that Sakusa’s apartment building had leaks and a storm was coming to lending his freshly cleaned Black Jackals sweater to him when Hinata accidentally spilt orange juice all over his practice shirt. How the voices started to dull when the two were closer, still loud enough to hear, but not loud enough to bother him as much.

When after a match, when Sakusa was hounded by the reporters about his love life, and Atsumu simply stated “he’s mine for the takin’,” grabbed his arm, making sure it was covered by his team jacket just in case, and dragging him to the bathroom so Sakusa could calm down. Worried about being too bold, a concern he never thought he’d had, Atsumu apologized to Sakusa in case he made him uncomfortable by saying they were dating. The reply? Sakusa taking his mask off only to turn around and kiss him. They’d have to shower either way to wash the aftermath of the match away, might as well make the best of it.

The opening of the door after having it shut air tight for so long wasn’t easy, it took days, Atsumu letting him breathe in between knowing full well it’d be hard for Sakusa. But it was worth it. And Atsumu let him see his skeletons too, the parts of him he hid well from the rest of the world. Sakusa couldn’t love him less for that, in fact, he almost loved him more. The soft conversations, laying close enough together to touch, but far enough apart so the voices didn’t bother him as much, Atsumu would do anything to help, and now he understood how important that was to Sakusa.

Sure, the person Sakusa was wasn’t perfect, but neither was he. They could be imperfect together, as long as they were just that; Together.

-

You won't love me less (love me less)

Would you love me more or love me less

**Author's Note:**

> Based around some of the lyrics from Love Me Less by MAX because I heard the song and KNEW it fit them.


End file.
